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Tag Archives: doubt

Fragile, Broken, Pieces

Fragile.

Sometimes I feel so fragile Father, as if I am one of those pieces of glassware mother never allowed us to play with or get near or touch.  Fragile, so easy to slip, to fall, to break. Fragile from the hand to the floor where I break into a thousand pieces.

Broken.

Sometimes I feel so broken Father, as if the slip and the fall are all that are in my past, all that define me, all that I have to claim as who I am.  Broken. Shattered. Smashed against the hardness of the surfaces that I can no longer bounce from. Far from the hands from which I slipped and fell. Far from the soft and gentle touch that created, shaped, and held. Broken. Pieces.

Pieces.

Sometimes I feel so disjointed, so fragmented, so divided; like so many pieces. Like the stories I heard as a child, of the egg that fell off the wall.  And sometimes it seems Father, that there is no way to even think about getting back on the wall, because there are so many pieces to gather, to repair, to mend with no hands, no glue, no way to put me all back together again.

Fragile, Broken, Pieces.

But then you Father, are the Potter.  Help me trust in your hands. To bring together fragile, broken pieces to hold in Your hands, never to be so fragile and broken and pieced up again.

 
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Posted by on September 19, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Lament of the Hem Graspers – Matthew 14:36 (NKJV)

They begged Him that they might only touch the hem of His garment. And as many as touched it were made perfectly well.”
– Matthew 14:36 (NKJV)

How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?

Have I not begged?  Have I not stretched out my hand to grab hold of the hem of Your garment?

Yet “perfectly well” I do not know.

Has not the woman who released her daughter to You, begged for her safety as she entrusted a life to your care? Has she not grasped to the hem of your garment as she prayed for her child?

Yet, her child is dead. Lost to her for good, in what feeble humanity can only call an accident.

How long, O Lord? Will You forget us forever?
How long will You hide Your face from us?

Has not the fifty-year old man, with a wife and three young daughters, who tried everything to fight cancer; has he not begged and stretched our his hand to touch the hem and find life?

Yet, wellness is not to be found.

How long, O Lord? Will You forget us forever?
How long will You hide Your face from us?

Has not the one with a failing marriage, the battle trodden addict, the poor starving dead, the weak and oppressed suffering the abuses of power, war, and inequity, have they failed to beg enough, strive enough, hold enough, grasp enough for Your attention, Your touch, and Your word.

How long, O Lord? Will You forget us forever?
How long will You hide Your face from us?

In grasping for the hem, with you leave us hemmed in? In longing for the fringe, will you leave us on the fringe?

Now O Lord, turn you head and see those who reach for the hem of Your garment, Turn and see, give them Your full attention. Speak your words of life and of hope, “Take heart, your faith has made you well.”

How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?

I beg, I strive, with all who grasp to the hem of Your garment.

 

 
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Posted by on June 19, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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I used to think…

I used to think I was quite capable, able to succeed at anything I set out to accomplish;

now, I often wonder if I am capable of anything that matters.

I used to think I was a servant; now, I often wonder if I simply serve my own interests and desires.

I used to think I was free; now, I often contemplate all the binds me.

I used to think I had many answers; now, I often marvel at the number of questions.

I used to think was strong; now, I often feel weak.

I used to think I was holy and just; now, I am often confronted with my sin and failures.

I used to think I trusted in God perfectly;

now, I see how often I act in fear and betray my unbelief.

I used to think that I was mature; now, I simply wonder if I will ever grow up.

I used to think that God is loving and present and active in His world; this I still believe. I pray that I might hold to Him and join Him in His creative, sustaining, loving action in the world.

Lord, hear my prayer.  Lord, have mercy!

.

 

 
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Posted by on October 3, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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“Help, O God!” (Prayers from Psalm 121)

O God, help us.  Help!  We all need help in our lives Lord.  There is not one of us who does not need your help.  Yet often in our pride and arrogance, sometimes in our confusion or doubt, sometimes in ignorance or sinful desire, we seek help from others; other places, other people, other things.

O God, we will lift up our eyes to our money and possessions, to people in powerful positions, to those who have all the answers, to physical strength and military might.  No, not to these, for where does our help come from?  Our help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Forgive us for the times we turn to other things to give us courage, to give us hope, to give us freedom, to meet our needs.  Teach us O Lord, again and again to turn to You, for only in you do we find true and satisfying help.

You promise O Lord you will watch over us. Us as a people, we as individuals.  You promise you will watch over us and never sleep.

You promise your will guard us from harm.  Us as a people, we as individuals. Both night and day you will keep us.

You promise to watch over us.  Us as a people, we as individuals.  You promise to watch over our lives in all our comings and goings.

We pray this morning, heavenly Father, that you will watch and keep us as you promise.  That in all of our need for help, no matter what it, you will cause us to turn to You – our helper.

Hear our prayers this morning for our own personal needs Lord.  For ____________ and __________ and __________…

We pray this morning, heavenly Father, not just for ourselves but for our family, friends, for Christians throughout this world serving you, for those yet to know you as Lord and Savior; for these hear our prayers this morning.

And now, O Lord, may we be ever reminded that our help comes from You, the Maker of Heaven and earth.  And may we ever turn to you, who has said to us “Come unto me…and I will give you rest”.

 

May all glory and honor be to you, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, in whom we trust our lives.  Amen

 
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Posted by on November 16, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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